When the definition of “friend” is “person you hung out with in HS/College and then only ever associated with via the computer”, maybe you don’t.
Box 4, in particular, is a really depressing rubric for friendship as it assumes a person vanishes the moment they stop providing new content on Social Media. I’ve got friends who occupy the first three quadrants simultaneously, but we still keep in touch by SMS and by actually visiting one another on a regular basis. We’re 100% logged the fuck off past that.
Box 4, in particular, is a really depressing rubric for friendship as it assumes a person vanishes the moment they stop providing new content on Social Media.
I just think of it as shorthand for the very real phenomenon that some people fall off the radar in every measurable way: can no longer be found in person, won’t respond to calls or texts, no online presence (even DMs/chats, or electronic invites to in-person activities). I have a few friends in that category, and it’s often something like trying to build a new life away from their past (sometimes including a new spouse and/or social circle), or even mental health issues.
And some people really do want to live off grid in a cabin in the mountains, or backpacking, or in a faraway, low-connectivity job (at sea, or in remote wilderness, or whatever else). If they end up doing that and fall off the radar, it happens.
I just think of it as shorthand for the very real phenomenon that some people fall off the radar in every measurable way
Sure. But there tends to be a certain distance already baked in. Unless you have a deep bound with someone - a parent / sibling / child, typically - once you stop interacting with that person IRL, there’s less and less of an incentive to engage with them remotely.
When the definition of “friend” is “person you hung out with in HS/College and then only ever associated with via the computer”, maybe you don’t.
Box 4, in particular, is a really depressing rubric for friendship as it assumes a person vanishes the moment they stop providing new content on Social Media. I’ve got friends who occupy the first three quadrants simultaneously, but we still keep in touch by SMS and by actually visiting one another on a regular basis. We’re 100% logged the fuck off past that.
I just think of it as shorthand for the very real phenomenon that some people fall off the radar in every measurable way: can no longer be found in person, won’t respond to calls or texts, no online presence (even DMs/chats, or electronic invites to in-person activities). I have a few friends in that category, and it’s often something like trying to build a new life away from their past (sometimes including a new spouse and/or social circle), or even mental health issues.
And some people really do want to live off grid in a cabin in the mountains, or backpacking, or in a faraway, low-connectivity job (at sea, or in remote wilderness, or whatever else). If they end up doing that and fall off the radar, it happens.
Sure. But there tends to be a certain distance already baked in. Unless you have a deep bound with someone - a parent / sibling / child, typically - once you stop interacting with that person IRL, there’s less and less of an incentive to engage with them remotely.
Damn this is they way it is for most of us 20 something’s after college…