I think the effect of other societal changes not immediately associated with relationships might be underestimated here too, such as the commercialization of any and all free time activities where one might casually meet people of the preferred gender on a regular basis combined with the limited disposable income. Or (in the US at least) the elimination of sidewalks and other public places where one might encounter people from your own neighborhood outside of a car. More customized media consumption leading to fewer guaranteed shared topics to discuss compared to the time when generally everyone watched the same things on TV and read the same news at a similar time. I could probably come up with other examples but the point is that a lot of things changed that make just meeting people to consider to ask out much more difficult than it used to be a few decades ago.
I fully agree. A lot of entertainment options have moved from self organising to a fire hose model. It used to be you just gave youngsters a place to go, and let them work out what to do with it. Now it’s hyper-commercialised. Everyone sits/stands there and absorbs entertainment from a central source.
It’s also not just young adults and teenagers. Pre teens and early teens have nowhere to really interact organically. Without that solid foundation of peer socialising, they are trying to build on soft sand.
It doesn’t help that society is actively hostile to groups of kids and teens. Malls increasingly ban unaccompanied minors, “get off my lawn” attitudes lead to closing down of public parks and rec type facilities, violent paramilitary police are a threat to their safety, etc.
I agree that throwing young people together in the same place doesn’t automatically just work and there needs to.be some sort of support system for people who fall through the cracks
I think the effect of other societal changes not immediately associated with relationships might be underestimated here too, such as the commercialization of any and all free time activities where one might casually meet people of the preferred gender on a regular basis combined with the limited disposable income. Or (in the US at least) the elimination of sidewalks and other public places where one might encounter people from your own neighborhood outside of a car. More customized media consumption leading to fewer guaranteed shared topics to discuss compared to the time when generally everyone watched the same things on TV and read the same news at a similar time. I could probably come up with other examples but the point is that a lot of things changed that make just meeting people to consider to ask out much more difficult than it used to be a few decades ago.
I fully agree. A lot of entertainment options have moved from self organising to a fire hose model. It used to be you just gave youngsters a place to go, and let them work out what to do with it. Now it’s hyper-commercialised. Everyone sits/stands there and absorbs entertainment from a central source.
It’s also not just young adults and teenagers. Pre teens and early teens have nowhere to really interact organically. Without that solid foundation of peer socialising, they are trying to build on soft sand.
It doesn’t help that society is actively hostile to groups of kids and teens. Malls increasingly ban unaccompanied minors, “get off my lawn” attitudes lead to closing down of public parks and rec type facilities, violent paramilitary police are a threat to their safety, etc.
I agree that throwing young people together in the same place doesn’t automatically just work and there needs to.be some sort of support system for people who fall through the cracks