And then an epic ass-whooping - only this time on the receiving end since we’re the baddies now.

YOU FIRED!

I like the message the Calvin sticker sends: “I am childish but have an old man’s bladder.”

Fun Blackbeard fact: he actually spent some time in Philadelphia. It’s not known whether he preferred Pat’s or Geno’s steaks.

I’m a school bus driver and I have one total moron of a coworker who thinks we should all carry guns to protect the buses. He specifically wants to have his AR15 with him, with its magical 40-round mags like that would make the slightest fucking difference after somebody starts off their assault by blasting the driver’s seat. I’ve been pretending I agree with him and encouraging him to suggest this to our (very liberal) school board - since he’s above me on the seniority list.

The fact that you used the word “Cringe” means the song probably came out before you were born.

Ha ha, I never actually ever paid attention to the lyrics all the way through. The last rap by Bush I is awesome.

Does anyone ever think the guys with anything at all like that on their clothing have forgotten how to be violent?

I don’t think he’s forgotten - I think he’s old and fat and has mostly lost the ability to be violent, except maybe to his wife. A young, fit man would beat the shit out of him and he knows it. IMHO that’s a big reason gun nuts are so into their guns, because it compensates for their physical weakness.

I remember when I first read about AGILE. I was like “this is pretty cool - but there’s no way corporations will actually adopt this methodology without completely turning it into just a set of new names for the same shit they’ve always done.” Naturally, that’s exactly what happened.

I recently learned that a web app I wrote in 1999 (for Internet Explorer lol) is still in use by the company I wrote it for. And this app was basically a graphical front end sitting on top of a mainframe application that dated to the 1970s, so my app’s continued existence means that mainframe POS is still running, too. My app was written in Classic ASP and Visual Basic 6 - I truly pity whatever poor bastard has to keep supporting that shit. They probably have one ancient PC in a closet somewhere acting as the server for it.

But it snowed this winter! Once!

I’m a school bus driver and I have a coworker who is an avid climate-change denier. Here is an example of how stupid she is: she needed to borrow my bus for a run and I had it chocked. Since the chock was wedged solid under my front wheel, she decided she needed to use the crowbar to get it loose and tore the fuck out of it (and my front tire) in the process. It never occurred to her to start the bus and back up to free the chock.

She also 1) hates immigrants because they’re unvaccinated and “spread disease”, and 2) is anti-vax. I could never make this shit up in a million years. If you have children, consider that a lot of the people driving them to and from school are exactly this fucking stupid.

This is so dumb. They weren’t originally named after a bird, they were named after a type of footstool.

Larry David and Bernie Sanders are actually cousins. They got hooked up on that PBS show sponsored by Ancestry.com.

the exhumed corpse of Jack Lemmon as Joe Biden

He’ll finally get that third Oscar!

he claimed that “such a radar does not exist”

Lol just like his Nazi forefathers in WWII who refused to believe (more than once!) the British had the advanced radar that they actually did have.

But without the happy ending.

It’s amazing how good an Aztec looks after seeing the Cybertruck.

Uh, the F150 folks would like a word …

That’s not fair. Republicans just make mistakes sometimes. Sometimes they let a non-pedophile into their ranks accidentally.

Whew! Otherwise, George Lucas was going to have to buy the rights to Planet of the Apes and digitally change the ending.

There’s a theory that the Statue of Liberty shown at the end was actually the one from Las Vegas. Lucas could have changed that to the Las Vegas Sphere: “GOD DAMN U2 ALL TO HELL!”

Lenin was not shy about having people taken out back and shot. He just died before he had the chance to do it on the scale that Stalin later achieved.

Fun random Lenin fact: Russia never had a tradition of preserving and mummifying the corpses of their Tsars and religious leaders. Lenin (d. 1924) was “mummified” (in a truly amateurish fashion) because of the worldwide popularity of Tutankhamun, whose tomb had been discovered by Howard Carter in 1922.

Another fun random Lenin fact: Vladimir Putin’s grandfather was Lenin’s chef.