I’m no expert, but I feel like anybody who hasn’t faced actual, real combat involving guns is just going to shit themselves and fire wildly the first time they do face it - that’s if they don’t just take off running or faint instead. And most people on both sides of the political fence haven’t ever faced real combat.

I have read a lot of war memoirs, and the one common thread running through all of them is that a soldier/pilot/gunner/whatever is utterly useless their first few times in battle, regardless of their training.

How about sending a delegation of senators and congresscritters to Russia on July 4th?

This was a couple of years ago but I think the numbers are still the same: sending a shipping container from Hong Kong to Newark cost about $3000 while sending the same container in the opposite direction cost about $500. This is because we badly want the shit China makes while they don’t want anything we make (the same situation that led Great Britain to force China to accept opium at gunpoint almost two hundred years ago). Sending a container to China is so cheap that for a stretch we were actually filling them with our garbage because it was less expensive to dispose of it there.

Anyone who think this represents economic weakness on China’s part is batshit crazy.

I only knew about Cortez because my MAGA cousins would rant about her and the Green New Deal and I decided to look her up.

Better or worse than rape-via-twitter? Better, I guess.

Damn, even the phrase Bono stole was stolen.

I remember when Bono threw this into the lyrics for “Tryin’ To Throw Your Arms Around The World”, like he had thought of it himself (he didn’t - this was already an expression by 1991). That was when U2 jumped the shark for me.

Making a million a year doesn’t mean you’re any less happy than making a billion.

Eh, I had a boss years ago who owned a temp agency. His income from the business was about $40K per month and he lived in a beautiful beach house and drove a nice Mercedes and ate out at great restaurants every day etc. etc. No financial problems whatsoever but his friends were all west coast venture capitalists worth hundreds of millions of dollars and he absolutely seethed with resentment at how relatively poor he was.

I always liked Sam Kinison’s routine about Jesus coming back: “yeah, I’ll be back when I can PLAY THE PIANO AGAIN! OHH!! OHHHHHHHH!!!”

They eat road-pizza squirrels as well. Although they’re scared shitless by the still-living ones.

Meanwhile my local crows just sit there looking aggrieved while a single squirrel eats all the peanuts I put out for them. I don’t understand it at all, but squirrels must be seriously badass, at least as far as crows are concerned.

- Gang up on hawks
- Get chased away by solitary bluejays and squirrels

Nobody speak, nobody get choked …

Fucking prompt engineers

I had a boss once who went through a bitter divorce and many people at work were Facebook friends with his soon-to-be-ex-wife. She made one post where she described him as “ol’ three inches two minutes”.

At an absolute minimum he would be listed as “pre-diabetic”.

I can’t even bring myself to capitalize the t in trump. Or the m in musk, for that matter (or the n in nazi). It just implies a modicum of respect.

I remember seeing him for the first time a couple decades after having seen him during his '80s heyday. I was laughing my ass off at these hilarious Incredible Hulk fake arms he was wearing - and then I gradually started realizing that those were his real arms.

I’m still amazed he became a Vegas resident comic. Like, he wasn’t that unfunny but he was never anybody’s favorite comic.

We also should have cleaned up better after the Civil War. That was probably the bigger mistake.