Back in my day, we just called a 900 number.

You can’t take pegging out of JPEGing!

And I find condoms past the expiration date.

Or AutoCAD. I hide all the icons so people won’t use my computer. “Where’s the move button?”

Everything I stuck in my ass did not get stuck…last year

Uni-corn 🌽

Why is it unicorn and not unihorn?

Always copy the neighbors.

If it comes with a Pornhub subscription, I would be for it. “No honey, it’s a VPN subscription”.

You pee on an ant bed and 6 months later you are defecating on road kill

I wish. The bones in my ear pound harder than anything between my legs

Just to let you know, I’ve seen boobies and they have blue feet.

Gotta mow the grass before it gets hot!

Large Pony?

Shouldn’t the evil ones have beards?

My wife calls them “noods”(nudes). “Can you grab the pool noods? We’re having sketti tonight.”

Bender, is that you?

Based on this logic, I could create a biological weapon.

United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama…wait. There’s a bean song?