I wish my father did

You’re an asshole. Do you have any idea how much you may have cost me?

I want my EV MX-5!

Delivery driver
Dvda
Gape
Fist

Why is this search not working?

Oh she has a full beard. No one is going to mistake that for an under age girl.

During this time of my life, every response was a movie or commercial quote. I somehow had almost every conversation this way. Now it’s just meme responses. I’ve grown.

This is why my wife says I can’t shave my beard.

They got a pepper bar!

Back in my day, we just called a 900 number.

You can’t take pegging out of JPEGing!

And I find condoms past the expiration date.

Or AutoCAD. I hide all the icons so people won’t use my computer. “Where’s the move button?”

Everything I stuck in my ass did not get stuck…last year

Uni-corn 🌽

Why is it unicorn and not unihorn?

Always copy the neighbors.

If it comes with a Pornhub subscription, I would be for it. “No honey, it’s a VPN subscription”.

You pee on an ant bed and 6 months later you are defecating on road kill

I wish. The bones in my ear pound harder than anything between my legs