It’s not just Elon Musk, it’s people just like him (if more discrete) and the system that allowed them to get so absurdly wealthy and powerful, which Kamala Harris and her ilk have no intention of changing.

I’m not big on the “we have to beat China” rhetoric, but it’s like republican politicians wake up every morning and ask themselves “What can I do today to further Chinese dominance in the next century?”

Yeah, the arrogant fool.

Bro, I drink water everyday, and I’ve never died.

“Just the right amount of boulder is blocking the eastbound lane…”

That works.

I like to imagine the well-dressed kid is the actual goth, and the family just switched things up because they’re all wholesome and fun.

5-4

“Neil drew the short straw, so he gets to be the irrelevant dissenting vote today.”

Perhaps we should invent a word for sizes between large and small. Somewhere in the middle.

Sometimes you have to spend money to maybe make money eventually.

But also fuck Scott Bessent. And pretty much everyone else within earshot of that conversation.

Three hummingbirds, half a hamster, 1/5 a goldendoodle puppy… I don’t know how we can make this any simpler for you.

You seem to be close to orgasm! Would you like assistance? Please sign this consent form.

If you can’t hold your breath longer than a canary, that’s a you problem.

Let’s not pretend super old democrats are the only bad ones.

So I cursed the top left corner for remaining uncovered, which was the style at the time.

When my app listed the top line of this post as “Ron DeSantis rips tailpipe” I imagined him inhaling from the end of a tailpipe like it was a bong. It’s the closest I’ve come to a positive thought about Ron DeSantis in… well, ever.

I wonder if there’s a higher crime rate among pardoned Capitol rioters than there is among undocumented immigrants…

So you either successfully do crimes because you’re invisible, or you successfully get put in a Norwegian prison. I’m gonna go check plane ticket prices.

Those billions of people are obviously in Big Pharma’s pocket.

This is why fascism always eventually fails. Reality doesn’t give a shit about your spin and scapegoating, and will happily bring a pandemic roaring back when you do something stupid for the sake of the narrative.

The only question is how many people get hurt while it fails.