Nothing hammers this home like raising a kid.

The sense of joy and wonder they feel about something as simple as learning how to turn on a faucet. Suddenly, they’re magical and can summon water.

It makes you feel jaded.

You’re gonna show up in a youtube video.

A 30 year old presented to the E.R. with a bloated stomach and high fever. He claims to have eaten the same pasta for 30 days. As we know, botulism starts to grow on noodles after three days, which means…

Can confirm.

Now, I just need to know why my calculator needs access to my contacts.

Multiverse it is.

Crucially, you don’t automatically get to travel the multiverse. You just know it exists now.

Is this what “dead cat bounce” means?

My understanding is that TV prices are subsidized by bloatware. No bloatware, no subsidy.

I’m actually very centrist; I don’t want to eat the rich.

After all, I’m a vegan and think that anyone involved in the meat industry should be put in jail.

So, dead center. That’s me.