Sounds like the less disgusting cousin of mountain oysters

Financial advisor Dave Ramsey Snow

His advice on living within your means usually includes gratuitous torture porn. Yet he always forgets plot armor won’t protect you from financial mistakes.

If he kept his boot bands on then he’s still straight

it’s a run-of-the-mill stinky person, plain and simple…

Bingo. Some people are just stinky jerks who care nothing for cleanliness or hygiene.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

4 out of 5 doctors prefer Lucky Strike cigarettes

There was a related movie called The Disaster Artist about The Room, made by one of the Francos. I’ve seen that, but not The Room. Still strikes me as pretty fucking weird though.

How about an oversized Dr Seuss book?

With an awning to protect against the prehistoric sun

Fuck Colin Robinson.

Hang out with Guillermo instead.

Sounds like a line from a deleted scene from In Bruges

Ah, the classic masterpiece from Pornelius Hubert.

Erm, that looks like a mirror reflecting the ceiling fan, not a framed picture of a ceiling fan.

Lol, that’s an old HEB name tag. Stores used to have names, titles, & photos of store leadership by the customer service desk.

I loved the picture of him and Tilda Swinton doing drag impersonations of each other

Doesn’t really bother me. I’m not the sort that likes to post, but I will comment periodically. All this does is give me more stuff to look at.

Are those supposed to be the bouncy things rhat young children have?

That’s a fair assumption to make. So our totally real OPs wife now has to make 80 fucks at minimum instead of 64

Is this the joke?

Because I’m procrastinating at work:

How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?

Estimates:

• average erect length: 13 cm (from Perplexity.ai)
• average number of thrusts in coitus: 300 (ibid)

Calculations

• thrust distance per coitus session: 13 cm x 300 thrusts x 2 (accounting for insertion & removal) = 78 m
• coitus sessions to accumulate 5 km of thrusts: 5 km / 78 m = 64.1 -> 64 sessions of coitus

So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.

Edit: working through this reminded me of that episode of HBO’s Silicon Valley where they started talking about handjobs and hotswapping dicks and hit on middle out compression.