Long story short: When I first met my husband, he was recently widowed and just wanted a transactional arrangement to get his mind off things. It stayed that way until he suddenly got meningitis. I was terrified at the thought of losing him as a person, so I upended my life to be with him and take care of him, even though I didn’t have to. That’s the moment it stopped being transactional. We got married last year.
Ugh we need more stories like this man, the reality is that things do suck but that doesn’t mean people can’t change. And shit, they might be able to change but not enough, in which case it’s maybe not meant to be, but good on you for still trying!
As someone blessed with the most patient partner ever regarding my own stupid male society learned bullshit: I would’ve ended my life a long time ago if it weren’t for her. Our society makes men feel fucking insane for being semi-normal, emotional, affectionate, and so on.
It’s truly asinine knowing how much pain my friends live with that they will never understand because they are desperately clinging onto their perceived masculinity.
Mr. Bunny’s and I danced Roind each other for a couple years in a broken state, we liked each other but couldn’t reciprocate emotion and were both hung up on our damage.
We actually worked through the damage others caused us and … idk if I wanna say trauma bonded but we bonded through the healing of our trauma.
Idk if I could ever find another person who was so patient with me and I wanted to be so patient for.
The raw “other person did x to me and now I’m y and I’m trying to fix myself but you’re seeing it and feeling it what do we do” negotiations … idk if I’d recommend them but idk if our bond is breakable now.
That’s really sweet! Good on you for working through it. Too many people don’t bother.
Just an fyi: I used to make the same mistake, but trauma bonding isn’t bonding over a common trauma. It’s when an abuse victim is bonded to their abuser. Very different scenario!
The other Mrs. Lezbian and I bonded early on because we’d both had breakups a few months prior partly over the same thing. We both thought it had a decent chance of being a rebound. But we went in knowing a lot of what we wanted and trying to be healthier, be more true to our needs, and just generally do things right. And yeah we clicked a little too well, uhauled in under a year, got locked up for the pandemic around a year in, and have been happily inseparable ever since, even though to this day we’re still working on our damage.
Long story short: When I first met my husband, he was recently widowed and just wanted a transactional arrangement to get his mind off things. It stayed that way until he suddenly got meningitis. I was terrified at the thought of losing him as a person, so I upended my life to be with him and take care of him, even though I didn’t have to. That’s the moment it stopped being transactional. We got married last year.
Ugh we need more stories like this man, the reality is that things do suck but that doesn’t mean people can’t change. And shit, they might be able to change but not enough, in which case it’s maybe not meant to be, but good on you for still trying!
As someone blessed with the most patient partner ever regarding my own stupid male society learned bullshit: I would’ve ended my life a long time ago if it weren’t for her. Our society makes men feel fucking insane for being semi-normal, emotional, affectionate, and so on.
It’s truly asinine knowing how much pain my friends live with that they will never understand because they are desperately clinging onto their perceived masculinity.
Mr. Bunny’s and I danced Roind each other for a couple years in a broken state, we liked each other but couldn’t reciprocate emotion and were both hung up on our damage.
We actually worked through the damage others caused us and … idk if I wanna say trauma bonded but we bonded through the healing of our trauma.
Idk if I could ever find another person who was so patient with me and I wanted to be so patient for.
The raw “other person did x to me and now I’m y and I’m trying to fix myself but you’re seeing it and feeling it what do we do” negotiations … idk if I’d recommend them but idk if our bond is breakable now.
That’s really sweet! Good on you for working through it. Too many people don’t bother.
Just an fyi: I used to make the same mistake, but trauma bonding isn’t bonding over a common trauma. It’s when an abuse victim is bonded to their abuser. Very different scenario!
The other Mrs. Lezbian and I bonded early on because we’d both had breakups a few months prior partly over the same thing. We both thought it had a decent chance of being a rebound. But we went in knowing a lot of what we wanted and trying to be healthier, be more true to our needs, and just generally do things right. And yeah we clicked a little too well, uhauled in under a year, got locked up for the pandemic around a year in, and have been happily inseparable ever since, even though to this day we’re still working on our damage.
What a sweet love story! Congrats on the marriage !!