She was used to being isolated. She was one of only a few women in a fire department of about 100 employees, and even though she tried to fit in by sleeping at the firehouse two nights each week — even though she had won E.M.T. of the Year, passed all the fitness tests, registered as a Republican, collected guns and voted for Trump in 2016 — she was always defined by the ways she stood apart. A vegetarian. A bisexual. A single woman with dyed pink hair and facial piercings among a sea of mostly white, Christian, conservative men.