I’ve constantly misunderstood what a tankie actually is. This meme will certainly not muddy those waters for me any further, I’m sure!

Leopards at this point are getting obese on these fuckers.

I’m sorry but can’t we just leave most of them there?

If they come to the good platforms they’ll just make them shitty as well.

Quite frankly, at this point I really want Musk to achieve his goal of getting humans to Mars. That way, he can take all his horrible followers and leave the rest of us here so we can actually work to fix this place.

Street 👍

No, no. Just let us cook, I’m sure we’ll end ourselves any minute now 👍

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you may be, it’s C.C. here, uh, Chris, from New York, Westchester County…

Earth is flat, space is fake, and I have to make videos in my car because my wife doesn’t let me make them in the house anymore because even she thinks I’m a fucking moron.

IF YOU KIDS CAN’T KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF THERE’LL BE NO CAPE CANAVERAL FOR ANYBODY!!

We’ll swiftly see what happens with Rowe vs Wade when all the men start getting pregnant. “Oh, what’s that? That baby is going to push its way out of your tiny pp and blow it apart? Oh well!”

Why not both? It’s even more fun when you can’t tell what’s good German and what’s not!

Yeah, that’s how I read this. She’s not being punished, she’s crying tears of joy as Jesus makes her Dutch!

Calm down, I said eat out 😏

You’d be surprised. I’ve had people absolutely not listening to me in the past. It’s not overly common, but definitely not unheard of.

People will literally get in my car expecting that I teach them to park then take them for their driving test after just a few lessons.

Me, a driving instructor: “If you don’t want to learn, there’s the door. No. No need to slow down or stop, I have my own brake pedal here, thank you”

Daddy loves plowing the soil (the soil is your mom)

my favorite Windows version is 8.1.

[careless whisper intensifies]

Non-American here: Colorado?

I don’t know many American symbols, but I’m sure that C flag is Colorado. Is it Colorado?

That’s right, duck and cover

https://youtu.be/x5lv-56_KHk

Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!

Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

I mean if I went round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had thrown a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!

No no, see, it’s an upright “s” with a sideways “s” going through it. I’ve also got an alternative: