It’s not even necessarily a negative thing. My parents were quite functional caregivers and role models despite this fact. They held each other in only the highest respect.
oof. Glad I dodged that bullet. She broke up with me less than a year after I proposed. After time and separation, I realized how fucking bad that relationship was
the corrosion of two personalty that reshape each other until they’re incompatible, I guess. but also a lot of dysfunction. I got so good at being a grey rock in the face of their exciting need to be excited by constantly fighting that they got bored of trying to get a reaction out of me and I got tired of the panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. Anyway, separation has been nice, but having kids means you’re locked into a kind of relationship that necessitates mutual good faith cooperation so it’s a nightmare. REALLY don’t have kids with people you haven’t lived with first for several years. 6mo whirlwind relationships are a bad place to invest the next 20+ years of your life, also, you can’t out run, out think, or recognize your truama, you are you, and you can’t not you. therapy early and often.
meh … lots of married people don’t love each other either.
It’s not even necessarily a negative thing. My parents were quite functional caregivers and role models despite this fact. They held each other in only the highest respect.
I’m married, I know a bunch of married people, and I honestly don’t love even MOST of them.
married 17 years, can confirm.
oof. Glad I dodged that bullet. She broke up with me less than a year after I proposed. After time and separation, I realized how fucking bad that relationship was
But…why?
the corrosion of two personalty that reshape each other until they’re incompatible, I guess. but also a lot of dysfunction. I got so good at being a grey rock in the face of their exciting need to be excited by constantly fighting that they got bored of trying to get a reaction out of me and I got tired of the panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. Anyway, separation has been nice, but having kids means you’re locked into a kind of relationship that necessitates mutual good faith cooperation so it’s a nightmare. REALLY don’t have kids with people you haven’t lived with first for several years. 6mo whirlwind relationships are a bad place to invest the next 20+ years of your life, also, you can’t out run, out think, or recognize your truama, you are you, and you can’t not you. therapy early and often.
Sorry, I guess you do what you have to do until they are 18.
No, I cannot do therapy, simply not feasible atm at all. Not time-wise, not economy wise, I’d get fired for that here.