The vast majority of the Bible was simply guidelines to keep people healthy and happy. All this “the skin of the pig is unclean” stuff? They hadn’t figured out germs yet. No sex until marriage? No contraceptives, so don’t create in cared for children. I won’t waste my time on it but, when examined in context, this is the vast majority, if not the entirety of the bible: lessons on how to be safe and happy relative the time, made digestable and relevant to the common person.
Sucks they had to get there via fear of imaginary, post-life pain, and it sucks twice as hard that they’ve neglected to rationalize that part as the rest of the belief structure has modernized.
I can definitely get behind that. Like, if you read the Bible, especially some particular chapters, there’s a lot of old man yells at clouds vibes.
“I will cuteth off the member of him who pisseth against the wall”
Doesn’t really sound like a god thing. It would be very weird for the ruler and creator of the universe to get really, really fucking mad that any person who pees on a wall anywhere, regardless of the situation, should have their dick cut off.
It kind of sounds more like, you know, one of the leaders of a community is writing down laws and threatening to cut a bunch of boys’ dicks off because they keep peeing on walls and stinking the place up rather than using appropriate facilities.
I wish we had accurate historical records of the time, so I could see if this was ever actually enacted. Like, how much would it suck to be that guy?
Walking home late from the bar, you gotta take a whiz, you piss, the cops catch you, and like three hours later, your penis is lying in the trash.
And, I mean, talk about disproportionate response, like, did the concept of community service not exist? Like, what the fuck?
Then there was one phrase about, do not go and shave the sides of your beard, something something yada yada, and it reads like a protest against the kids and their fashion.
There’s lots of stuff where if you have the capacity to take the one mental step to say that every single word in the book may not have been written by God himself, but instead the texts chosen to be in the bible contain a historic medium of communicating laws, rules, and regulations that made sense at the time, inspired by God and definitely containing some legitimate things that were directly written by the Holy Spirit, but also invariably containing some information that was derived from that original mandate.
I mean, even the whole thing about the Sabbath, it was more a nicety to say, even God rested, you should rest too. You should have at least one day off a week where you’re not beholden to labor for somebody else, where you can enjoy life.
I highly doubt that God is throwing people into hell for working on the Sabbath. I get that it’s special to God because he rested for a day, which is something he had otherwise not done throughout existence. But at the same time, why torment someone forever for just working one extra day out of our comparatively very short lives?
I don’t know. I can rant forever. I’m sorry, I’ll stop here, but yeah.
I’m guessing this is the verse you are referencing?
Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone.
That’s not a commandment from God saying that he’ll cut peoples dicks off if they piss against the wall, that’s part of a curse where God is saying that he’s going to destroy Jeroboam’s family line. Its a curse on a specific guy in history.
Cross-amputation is still a thing under Sharia Law. I wouldn’t be surprised if people ever, or even still do, get their dicks cut off for pissing on a wall. John Wayne Bobbit had his cut off by his wife, but that was over marital rape.
One of my favorite examples of this: Leviticus 11:13-19
“These are the birds you are to detest and not eat because they are detestable: the eagle, the vulture, the black vulture, the red kite, any kind of black kite, any kind of raven, the horned owl, the screech owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the cormorant, the great owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the stork, any kind of heron, the hoopoe, and the bat.”
Most of these are either scavengers, or eat rodents which carry diseases that are awful to humans. The societies that ate them didn’t tend to last long.
The vast majority of the Bible was simply guidelines to keep people healthy and happy. All this “the skin of the pig is unclean” stuff? They hadn’t figured out germs yet. No sex until marriage? No contraceptives, so don’t create in cared for children. I won’t waste my time on it but, when examined in context, this is the vast majority, if not the entirety of the bible: lessons on how to be safe and happy relative the time, made digestable and relevant to the common person.
Sucks they had to get there via fear of imaginary, post-life pain, and it sucks twice as hard that they’ve neglected to rationalize that part as the rest of the belief structure has modernized.
I can definitely get behind that. Like, if you read the Bible, especially some particular chapters, there’s a lot of old man yells at clouds vibes.
“I will cuteth off the member of him who pisseth against the wall”
Doesn’t really sound like a god thing. It would be very weird for the ruler and creator of the universe to get really, really fucking mad that any person who pees on a wall anywhere, regardless of the situation, should have their dick cut off.
It kind of sounds more like, you know, one of the leaders of a community is writing down laws and threatening to cut a bunch of boys’ dicks off because they keep peeing on walls and stinking the place up rather than using appropriate facilities.
I wish we had accurate historical records of the time, so I could see if this was ever actually enacted. Like, how much would it suck to be that guy?
Walking home late from the bar, you gotta take a whiz, you piss, the cops catch you, and like three hours later, your penis is lying in the trash.
And, I mean, talk about disproportionate response, like, did the concept of community service not exist? Like, what the fuck?
Then there was one phrase about, do not go and shave the sides of your beard, something something yada yada, and it reads like a protest against the kids and their fashion.
There’s lots of stuff where if you have the capacity to take the one mental step to say that every single word in the book may not have been written by God himself, but instead the texts chosen to be in the bible contain a historic medium of communicating laws, rules, and regulations that made sense at the time, inspired by God and definitely containing some legitimate things that were directly written by the Holy Spirit, but also invariably containing some information that was derived from that original mandate.
I mean, even the whole thing about the Sabbath, it was more a nicety to say, even God rested, you should rest too. You should have at least one day off a week where you’re not beholden to labor for somebody else, where you can enjoy life.
I highly doubt that God is throwing people into hell for working on the Sabbath. I get that it’s special to God because he rested for a day, which is something he had otherwise not done throughout existence. But at the same time, why torment someone forever for just working one extra day out of our comparatively very short lives?
I don’t know. I can rant forever. I’m sorry, I’ll stop here, but yeah.
I’m guessing this is the verse you are referencing?
That’s not a commandment from God saying that he’ll cut peoples dicks off if they piss against the wall, that’s part of a curse where God is saying that he’s going to destroy Jeroboam’s family line. Its a curse on a specific guy in history.
Cross-amputation is still a thing under Sharia Law. I wouldn’t be surprised if people ever, or even still do, get their dicks cut off for pissing on a wall. John Wayne Bobbit had his cut off by his wife, but that was over marital rape.
One of my favorite examples of this: Leviticus 11:13-19
Most of these are either scavengers, or eat rodents which carry diseases that are awful to humans. The societies that ate them didn’t tend to last long.