There’s nothing wrong with not wanting casual sex. There’s nothing wrong with wanting it.

The problem comes from saying that what you want is the only right thing, and that everyone that doesn’t want the same thing you do is wrong. Or from being deceptive about what you want in order to coerce the other person into sex.

Honestly, I always felt the same way when I was younger. People would just meet up and fuck, like a fun thing, and I was never that into it. I thought something was wrong with me that I didn’t get it, until I started spending time with girls I had a real-life connection with, and then it was magic.

Pop culture lied to me. The club is bullshit. Casual sex is an awkward wasteland. Props if you’re into it I guess, but somehow young adult America turned it into the default, when it’s not the way.

Fake and gay as hell. No anon ever gets laid.

That out of the way, this is the kind of thing I wish I could tell folks about when they haven’t run into it before.

Sex is great. Even casual sex can be great. But sometimes, casual sex is just masturbating with someone else’s genitals instead of your hand.

When you go into it drinking and aren’t even working off of mutual sexual interest, that sometimes becomes much more likely.

But holy fuck, sex isn’t something that is magic in and of itself. Hooking up is usually the opposite of magic. If you don’t go into it with the right frame of mind, you might as well buy a dildo or fleshlight

The existence of casual sex implies the existence of ranked competitive sex.

Jokes aside some people need an emotional connection to have sex. Many do not.

I only have ranked competitive sex.