Edit: It will never cease to make me laugh that I get more genuinely serious discussion comments on my meme posts in /c/Memes than anywhere else. I’m not hating, I love it.
Edit 2: Chicago-Style deep dish pizza isn’t pizza go fuck yourself
I want a place that makes tiny burgers
Forget the premium burger places where burgers are held together by whaling harpoons and you need to eat them deconstructed. Instead of one giant undesirable burger give me a plate with 4 regular sized burgers in exciting variations.
Give me a chicken chili burger, a double irish beef patty blue cheese burger, an italian herb lamb patty and as a chaser a smoked bison brisket with bourbon sauce.
All on one plate. I would be happy
4 burgers. 1 plate. 0 regrets.
And if you don’t like one, you have 3 more chances to forgive the cook.
As a person who cannot unhook my jaw in the same way that a snake is able to, I am all for the idea of wider, flatter burgers.
Big burgers should just be two burgers
Can we use a hotdogs to make a bridge between the two hamburger castles?
You may
What have you done? What have you permitted?
I disagree with the glasses part as counterargument. Pizzas are sold by diameter in places that offer large and small - some even do medium. I also believe it would be nicer to have wider burgers instead of taller
Counterpoint - pizzas are sold by diameter, but pretty much everyone I know underestimates how diameter corresponds to actual pizza size and think a 16" pizza is twice as big as an 8" pizza instead of four times as big, which it actually is. Meanwhile, a burger patty that is twice as big as another one is actually twice as tall, while one that is wider is only about ~41% wider. Vertical dimension is more intuitive for the overall mass difference.
Just sell by patty weight.
Until you start selling a 1/3 lb burger to outcompete the 1/4 lb burger, but people are “4 is more than 3!” so your marketing fails…
Them later advertising it as 3/9ths is pretty funny though.
“The one on the right is better because the thingy is lifting it higher and the arrow is pointing to it!” – idiots, probably
Could just switch to grams. Selling by fraction is the problem not by weight itself.
I say this as an American, but these are Americans confused by the concept of fractions. Using grams would likely terrify them more.
And a 1/4lb is 4 oz, which sounds too small (compared to 8-10oz steaks that some people consume). So a 5.33 or even 5.5 oz burger doesn’t sound much bigger.
Yeah most people would think 4 is more than 3! while 3! is actually 50% more than 4.
But a third is less than a quarter!
Um… unfortunately, that doesn’t work, either. ::facepalm::
Well obviously more slices = more pizza.
Who would even eat the taller pizza? I’d find it disgusting. I’m not saying anything about the burger.
You have just insulted everyone in Chicago.
I’ll do it, Chicago has terrible taste in food. Deep dish is preposterous, Malort is an abomination, and despite how you feel about ketchup, relish should not look like the ooze that creates ninja turtles.
Deep dish is delicious. Lasagna is delicious. Baked ziti is delicious. Calzones are delicious.
Look, you can’t go wrong with tomato sauce, cheese, dough, and optional meat. It’s all delicious, and playing around with different ratios is still great.
on that note: stromboli is def delicious
Thank you. A deep dish pizza isn’t a pizza. It’s, at best, a fucking stew.
It’s a fucking casserole.
I recorded this rant because I’m bored. I fuckin hate deep dish and NY style pizza.
I don’t know what kind of culinary trauma Chicago is working through but their pizza isn’t pizza, it’s a STEW, or at best a stew with ambitions. It’s a stew with a gluten lid. I need a ladle, not a fork. I have to displace sauce like I’m fording the fucking Oregon Trail just to find the crust. It’s lasagna that forgot it was Italian. It’s soup gaslit into thinking it can achieve something. You don’t eat that shit you survive it. You don’t chew it, you contemplate your entire life while shoveling it in and wondering how something with so much molten cheese could still feel emotionally cold.
I’m in agreement with Jon when it comes to Deep-Dish pizza and how it isn’t a pizza but a tomato-laden crime scene in a cast-iron pan. But he comes in so hot and screaming like he’s right about how real pizza folds. No. No Jon. I ain’t ever going to trust a fucking dude from New Jersey when it comes to pizza. That’s just New York opinions with worse parking. It’s like if Staten Island got a podcast and decided it was a food critic. These are people who look at a strip mall and say “This is where I want my Italian food experience to begin.” You ever seen a pizza joint from Jersey? Half of them double as laundromats or vape shops. They serve slices so thin you could laminate one and use it as a fucking bookmark. Their idea of crust is “whatever’s left after sadness finishes baking.” You pick up a slice and it’ll collapse faster than their economy would if you banned tanning beds.
Fucking Jon motherfucking goddamn Stewart out here talking about how reall pizza fooooolds. Oh. Does it? DOES IT JON? Real pizza folds? My money folds (jiggle jiggle). My spine folds after sleeping the wrong way. My dreams fold under the pressure of existence. That doesn’t make thme LUNCH. But of course he would love this goddamn monstrosity called ‘New York Style Pizza’. You would too if you grew up being told that thin floppy bread covered in oily regret was pizza. It isn’t pizza. It’s barely a suggestion of pizza. It’s whispering the concpet of mozzarella over a saltine while screaming about the Jets.
I love Jon. I really do but I wish he would stick to tearing down Fox News and republicans because when he says NY Pizza is the real deal all I hear is “I enjoy food that is as thin, undercooked and as lacking in substance as a conservative argument.” Stay with eviscerating fascists and not defending pizza that looks like it needs an intervention and a fuckin’ towel.
I make no comment about the merit of your argument either way, but hot damn you love to see the passion!
I’m a big fan of Detroit style. And I’m aware it’s basically focaccia bread with pizza toppings on it.
You ever seen a pizza joint from Jersey? Half of them double as laundromats or vape shops.
I’ve been getting pizza from NJ for ~45 years. I have never seen this crossover.
Folded pizza is real, and it’s delicious.
This was the most enjoyable read I’ve had since I joined Lemmy! Took me back to reddit just around the Digg-exodus era. Bravo!
You bitch about Chicago Pizza? Fucking CHICAGO?!?
Let me introduce you to the abomination I’m trying to eliminate: Quad Cities Pizza
They are called TOPPINGS. toppings, not middleings, for the love of all things just and right.
I don’t agree with your tastes in food, but I agree, fuck New Jersey.
It’s great to have you back!
I loved the Chicago bit!!! Absolutely hilarious! If new york pizza isnt real pizza what is real pizza in your opinion?
A casserole
For anyone who is not from Chicago, Malort is a bitter liquor that tastes like you poured anise through a filter of mud and used motor oil.
It tastes like what male cat pee smells like.
Though to be fair, I don’t think Chicago people like it either and only buy it because it’s terrible
From what I understand it’s what you drink at the family reunion once you run out of cheap beer and need to forget how bad Chicago is.
Malort tastes like a practical joke
This guy gets it. It’s fascinating being judged on what one puts on a hotdog by the dyed relish gang.
Unsurprising from the same people who light train tracks on fire and lean out on glass 400 stories in the air for a thrill.
Chicago bar pizza is a national treasure though
Okay, but to be fair, while it is delicious, it also is not “pizza” (insert bit from Jon Stewart:-).
ITS A CASSEROLE!
Gaba gool!:-P
Deep pan pizza is pretty good.
Lol you know nothing about pizza. There’s pizza al trancio, pizza al tegamino, generic pizza alta, pizza doppia pasta (double dough), so on…
Source: Italian
Well that only works because pizza is a 2 dimensional food
Nobody said it. So be it…
A regular size, ⅓lb burger is plenty for anybody. If it was unsatisfying, use better ingredients or stronger flavours.
Because nobody is asking that or you.
Get away from me, satan. No burger tastes as good as being able to see my own junk without a mirror
I was on your side until that gibberish about Chicago style pizza.
The A&W thing is more about Americans sucking ass at math than the difference between a wider or taller burger.
They had a 1/3lb burger and dipshits thought the 1/4lb was bigger because they don’t understand fractions.
A 1/2 lb is bigger than 1/3 lb; what are you on? Did you mis-state something?
They said 1/3 > 1/4, you misread the comment
They edited it and fixed it now, just didn’t state why they edited.
Oh no the edit police for a typo lmao
I was explaining why my comment wasn’t incorrect, it’s not like I took offense to anything. I didn’t expand on anything other than clarifying to the person who obviously didn’t see the original post. Go fuck yourself.
So angry for no reason lmao. Chill put brudda i was just having some fun lol it aint that serious
No dude you’re just kinda being a dick and not really understanding the situation
1/4lb’er*
Royale with cheese
Literally at my restaurant right now the burger with 3 smaller patties is more popular than the burger with 2 bigger patties. Same total amount of meat, just taller on a smaller bun…
Well yeah I’d want that meat in three smaller patties instead of two larger ones. More maillard reaction.
People are stupid.
This is a dumb response. Wider is easier to fit in your mouth and doesnt fall apart. Taller is just a mess and challenge to eat
TLDR: it’s not a volume issue, its a distribution
That is the point of the meme.
It’s a reference to the third-pound burger, and how consumers thought 1/3 was less than 1/4.
Exactly. Where I used to work there was a greasy cafe type place around the corner and the baps got wider the more stuff you ordered. If you ordered the Full Monty the burger bap was wider than my head. MY HEAD.
You’re damn right I would order it every time I went in. It was glorious…and very unhealthy, but also glorious.
It’s true. I’m a bartender. When I serve a drink in a to-go cup I sometimes get people bitching “oh, that’s all I get?” and then I passive aggressively demonstrate to them that it’s the same as it would be in a pint glass but it’s just shorter and wider.
If they wanted a good deal, they should have stayed at home and drank alone in the basement. Works for me.
It’s fucked up, because those same people will buy a daiquiri without second thought.
Don’t fucking people do anything for themselves anymore. I mean this is like a service economy right so everybody’s just going around wiping each other’s buttholes and passing Around 20 bucks… Just like having to explain the most elementary things, you know, it’s just ridiculous. Like having you ever just like drank whiskey out of like any fucking thing you can find. But then you’re trying to be responsible and you measure it out. But then you end up drinking like half or all the bottle. Clearly, in a normal cup, a shot of whiskey looks like nothing.
I’ll take whatever gets my beard the least messy.
Nah. If you put two plates in front of me and one had a regular burger on it and the other had a burger that was as wide as the plate itself, I’d pick the one that most accurately reflects how much I hate myself at that moment.
Schlotzky’s proved this out decades ago.
I’d eat em both
It’s not a comparison of size, it’s just the formatting of the sandwich to fit better with the way the human jaw is made… What a dumb argument
I think wider is better so you don’t have to unhinge your jaw like a snake to eat it.
Buns and patties would have to come in two different sizes for wide and regular burgers, and it’s probably more economical for restaurants to make them all in one standard size.
Actually worked in a fast food place, and we had three sizes iirc. Patties and Buns.
The issue is toppings still have to go up. It’s not like you can do a burger with the works and have zones of flavor. “Ooh this was the lettuce bite! I hope I get the pickle next!”
So the more you put on your burger the taller it gets.
There’s also been an upsetting trend of smash burgers taking over every fucking restaurant. Ridiculously wide and flat patties that have a lot of flavor but it feels like you’re eating a fried piece of cheese rather than a good burger.
Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a good smash burger. It definitely has it’s place. I used to make them but found that just making a chopped cheese was easier and honestly a little better.
But a fat, juicy, pink all the way through and almost red in the middle burger that squirts when you bite it will always be the king of my grill. And generally if I’m going to go get a burger somewhere, that’s what I’m actually craving. This burgers must be taller. If you make that kind of patty too wide you either need to add a binder to keep it together, which kinda ruins the texture, or you’ll need a really wide spatula to flip it and honestly some of them are still going to fall apart on you. Just the nature of the beast.
There’s also been an upsetting trend of smash burgers taking over every fucking restaurant. Ridiculously wide and flat patties that have a lot of flavor but it feels like you’re eating a fried piece of cheese rather than a good burger.
If your smash burger is thin then they’re not doing it right
Been smash cooking burgers since I was 8 (fuck me 21 years?! MY BURGER COOKING CAN DRINK?!) and never had a thin burger as a result
A burger should have bun, meat, cheese, dressing and maybe bacon…Everything else is a side dish that has no business inside the burger.
Hers a wild idea: What if the restaurant made their own food, shaped exactly how they wanted it, instead of buying premade buns and patties?
It’s a question of wage costs and consistency. Patties are easy enough but time consuming. Baking a good burger bun is a pretty specific skill as well as time consuming, and requires a lot of space and a good oven.
Unless you’ve got customers happy to pay $40 for your artisan crafted burgers I don’t think it’d work.
square 🔲 ?
